OzzyLogic - Resting on the very last breath

...failed!

I've been downloading his albums, and got all 2, Trinity and Dutty Rock, Trinity rocks, but Dutty Rock sucks...I listen to 'em to stay awake while driving home, and today was the 3rd day, and Al Khail Road was totally fucked up...choc-a-block, as those fucking mallu DJs would call it, and I dozed off...but woke up after a sec, and was glad the cars hadn't budged...after which I kept dozing in and out of consciousness, and then, I bumped into the Maroon 2001 Toyota Corolla in front of me, driven by an Egyptian...oops. By the impact, I fig'd there won't be any damage, but he stopped the car in the middle of the road (not that it'd make any difference, considering the snail-pace of traffic), and got out to inspect the damage, there weren't any, DOH...but he mumbled to himself, and looked kinda exhausted, and gestured that I should keep my eyes on the road...gee, thanks! @ least I stayed awake after that...

 

Got home, and bought myself MnMs, a chicken roll, a sausage roll, and a Starbucks Caramel Mocha, and curled up in the couch, and watched 3 episodes of XFiles...I'm sick of this fucking life.


The rain pushes the buildings aside
The sky turns black
The sky, wash it far
Push it out to sea
There's nothing left here for me
I watch it lift up to the sky
I watch it crush me, then I die
[The Sky Is Broken - Moby, OST from X-Files]

Random Events in my life, in the past few days, considering I don't have anyone to rant to about this, 'cept colleagues and friends...

And suddenly I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and its effortless
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground
[The Fray - Over My Head]


Today:

First day of my boss' vacation, so our IT Services Department includes me, and the ERP Assistant, who's a n00b, joined us on the 7th of Jan. My workload hasn't changed one bit, coz' a month after I joined, I took over 95% of my boss' Systems Admin duties, excluding leased line management, router management, and ERP management...so it's cool. She's finding it tough to handle, but not impossible...we might as well ask Management to fire him and pay the both of us more :P How cool is that? 2 dawgs, in their early 20s, handling 200 people over 7 branches? Who da man?!

Yesterday:

Went to a Manager's place to resolve her wireless network and DSL issue, as a FAVOR, and managed to do 75% of the job, which isn't bad, and got paid for it, which is so fucking embarassing! I insisted on returning it, but her hubby insisted on me taking it...plus he looked very sailor-ish, in a good way, so I didn't wanna argue with him. Nice house tho. Nice location too. Right opposite Safa Park. Woohoo.

Spent the rest of the day watching X-Files, and playing Counter-strike with my bro and sistah, coz' I've setup a home LAN for multiplayer games, @ least I feel like spending time @ home now.

I was supposed to go for Ghost Rider, but after reading the amount of shitty reviews it got, fig'd it wasn't worth 30 quid.

Day Before:

The day went by the way a proper weekend should...I didn't touch my car, I jogged @ night, spend the WHOLE day playing Counter-Strike, SWAT3, Terminator 3, ALL in multiplayer mods, and LMAO. 

Day Before Day Before:

Watched O Brother, Where Art Thou, found it to be over-rated crap.

And right now...I have a really bad arsed headache. This technical dude came up to me a second ago, 'coz he was off 'coz his wife delivered a baby boy, and I congratulated him. Man, he was happy...he's a nice guy, a rare kind in this sorta industry. *sigh*

I've been swallowed in my own rage;
Angry at the very person I gave my heart to,
Reducing her memories into a poison which is slowly killing me.

I've been swallowed in my own coldness;
Brought about by the poisonous words uttered out of frustration;
Hardened by the chilly acceptance of your inevitable change.

And I'm drowning in my own tears;
Blurred vision turning into blindness,
In denial over how I never saw it end this way.

This is an empty Draft I saved on the 11th of November...now why the fuck is it empty? It's cool, it's cool...I've got a lot of talking to do...movies, people, places, health...I don't wanna bitch too much about each, so I'll keep it short...though I dunno whether I'd feel lighter later. Oh well, no harm trying...


Schedule:

Ever since I shifted to Sharjah...and it's been almost a month, everything just seems SO hurried, SO fucked up...adding to already weird, congested schedule I juggled. Wake up @ 5:30am, leave home by 6:15, take weird short cuts and finally reach work @ 7:30 am, after roughly 75 kms, and work till 4pm, and then rush home, only to reach by 5:30/5:45 pm...and the only thing on my mind then is...I NEED TO PEE! Fuck...and now I'm getting less mileage! From 420+ kms per tank to 375 kms...which actually sucks...


The place brings back memories...and it's fucking quiet...it's WAY too quiet. I used to love visiting Tommy's place...mainly coz' of his company (yeah hairball :P) and the tranquility...but it's just different...add to it the traffic issues...I can't go anywhere...and even if I have to, I can't walk...coz' everything is too freakin' far.


And I can't stop whining about it...I feel like I've been caged. The only plus point is that I have my OWN room, ok, not exactly, but it sure beats sharing with 2 brothers. 

I got this is a fwd'd mail, which reminds me, I still have to finish both Dilbert books I bought a while ago.

1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.

2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

3. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

4. Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.

5. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing him again.

6. I DON'T HAVE AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM, YOU HAVE A PERCEPTION PROBLEM.

7. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, "where the heck is the ceiling?"

8. My reality cheque bounced.

9. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

10. I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.

11. You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

12. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

13. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

14. Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.

15. A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the butt.

16. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

17. After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

18. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

19. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

20. Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

21. If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

22. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

23. Following the rules will not get the job done.

24. When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"

25. Only the mediocre are at their best all the time.

26. There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

27. Bring ideas in and entertain them royally, for one of them may be the king.

28. If at first you don't succeed......skydiving isn't for you.

29. Life is a waste of time; time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.

30. When everything is coming your way......you're in the wrong lane

I hope it ain't TOO late, but I shall TALK (emphasis! see? I won't BITCH about it!). That's due to multiple reasons, such as:

 

 

1) I got my highest Eidiya EVER!
2) I had a LOT of fun
3) I didn't fight with my dad
4) No one @ home fought with anyone @ home
5) And I did something new!

 

 

Aight...day started off as usual, the way it's been starting since as LONG as I can remember...wake up WAY early, shower, change, pray...and this time, like last year, I wore the traditional shalwar and kurta, which apparently, looks good on me, or makes me look good...dunno. When we got there (the open air praying ground), there weren't lotsa people, so we sat somewhere @ the front, pretty close to the Sheikhs...and those fucking morons around us actually got up when the Sheikh arrived, which was pretty fucking stupid! I still don't understand that mentality...coz' I was wondering why the prayers started SO early, and I saw my dad still sitting, and almost 98% of the crowd standing...and I fig'd he knew something I didn't...and even after the Sheikh was seated, those morons still stood there...i mean, WTF? Why don't you go up and shake his fucking hands morons? Oh well...


We got home an hour late, coz' of the traffic, and I started texting...sent around 40 something, and got back 25 replies, and some from unknown numbers, and lotsa failed delivery reports, spoke to friends, and then playing games...starting with Need For Speed Most Wanted over the home network, which totally rocked! My bro obviously beat me in almost EVERY game coz' he plays the game around 10 times daily, and he's addicted to it...I just customize my rides. After I was done playing for a few hours, I switched to Command & Conquer Generals, and then F.E.A.R...while the rest of the household either slept, or ate, or I dunno...kept themselves busy coz' we didn't get a single guest since morning, lol.


After we finally got someone for lunch, we left for The Departed, (before which I spoke to her friend and her ultra wild n' hot cuz', yeah baby yeah!, and invited stares when I browsed around in Virgin's, muhahahahaha, i'm wearing a shalwar kameez, sue me bastards! I actually walked around looking for trouble, didn't get any, just stares from cunts with their cleavage fest and their moron companions) which turned out to be fucking ridiculous (as expected. Hollywood usually sucks in its remakes, and this time, I wanted to leave the cinema before the flick actually ended, it was SO fucking ridiculous), and nothing like Infernal Affairs, the original Hong Kong flick, which was SO fucking mind blowing I came home after watching that turd The Departed and watched it again, to remove any traces of the memory. After I was done with the flick, I met up with a friend, and we hung around, bumped into people and had ice cream, yum yum, which is when I lost a 100 bux (bux = dirhams, being specific due to a particular smart arse I know, lol) coz' of the amazingly fucked up position of the pocket in my kurta...and I guess when I pulled out my wallet to pay, I dropped some of the cash I got as Eidiya (around 125 bucks :( )...*sigh*

 

 

Day 2 was pretty low key compared to the first day, which isn't unusual. I started with playing games, but slept before lunch again coz' I didn't know what to do next...and woke up for lunch, and we had ANOTHER guest, woohoo, and we had to pay my bro's (to-be) in-laws a visit in AD/Abu Dhabi/AUH, which I dread but had to comply coz' of my psychotically pushy dad...my idea of spending Eid is DOING STUFF I DON'T USUALLY do, not driving for 350 fucking kms! Anyways, we left @ 4, and on our way there, the fucking speed traps didn't flash @ anyone who was driving @ speeds of near 160 kph *ahem*, and we got there, ate, got Eidiya (muhhahaha), and on the way back, while listening to this particular trance-like track by Garbage, I drifted away into my own thoughts...and in a rage (sorta), speed up...and zoomed past a fucking camera which flashed @ me...@ 185 kph! I was like...FUCK! There goes my Eidiya...sigh. I took the Jumeirah Road on the way back...I had learnt my lesson. Buy a fucking 1.3 litre car next time, coz' nothing can stop me from abusing the road, lol.

 

And Day 3? I was @ work, with nothing to do, coz' half the office had taken an off...sigh. @ one point, I got SO hungry that I wrote someone's email ID as jsantino (after Santino's Pizza in Ibn Batuta, I lunch there, yum yum), instead of jcarino...I'm losing it. *sigh*

 

 

So...

 

 

1) I got my highest Eidiya EVER! - 250 bucks!
2) I had a LOT of fun - games, movie(s), friends, food, speed!
3) I didn't fight with my dad - don't trouble Trouble until Trouble troubles you!
4) No one @ home fought with anyone @ home - stay outta their hair, expect miracles!
5) And I did something new! - got a speeding ticket!

 

 

So now everything goes back to normal. Work timings. Sleeping pattern. Habits. But I need to cut down on swearing. That's something I tried working on during Ramadan, and wasn't quite successful, but hey, it was something. And i expected this Eid to be the worst, thanks to the crappy Ramadan (the MONTH, not Ramadan itself, I ain't pagan) and my dad, but woah...it was TOTALLY unexpected. Miracles are for real people. *sigh*

 

 

 

 

The only reason why I'm talking about option 3 first is coz' I should've blogged about it earlier, but shit kept happening, and I had this blogger's block sorta thing, and I finally got the time to sit down and rant about it, on the last day of Ramadan...today!


Ramadan is supposed to mean fasting and praying extra and being clean and good for normal people. I wish I could do that, but fucked up people around me and in my family and on the road won't lemme do that...and try as I may, I can never stop swearing...I swear @ least once a day...and usually coz' some moron is driving like a total fuck and that somehow affects me.


And all that hunger is getting to people. They're either extra lazy, extra bitchy, or drive extra bad...but that's cool. I mean, every day, before leaving for work/home, I say to myself, I won't exceed 140...I'll drive slow, Funky said I shouldn't drive fast, I should cruise...and then I see this empty stretch of road, with no cameras and I just zoom...and in that exact moment, I get all my depressing thoughts flying through my head, the way sand would spill from a sack when pierced, overwhelming me...until I realize I've passed the 180 mark, and the cool thing is that since I serviced my ride, I've been able to push my car to 193 kph (after passing Dubal, towards LOBs in Jebel Ali)...wait, my mom shouldn't read this, she's asked me not to exceed the 120 kph limit. That's freakin' impossible Mom!

Right...entertainment during Ramadan? None...well, almost. I don't listen to music on the radio coz' I don't wanna mess up me fast, and I don't watch flicks either...and since the day first day of Ramadan, but radio got busted, so I got it repaired, and started listening to 103.8, Dubai Eye/I, which rocks...coz' they talk talk talk, and play GOOD music...not pop shit. And sometimes make me listen to Sticky Fingers and Basement Jax...but my radio got busted again...sniff sniff.


This Ramadan was the worst EVER...for Suhr, I had 2 glasses of water daily, but the fucked up part was me waking up every 15 minutes to take a leak, coz' our ultra efficient A/C system cooled the room SO well, add to it the massive intake of water, and voila, you gotta wake up with a hard-on every 15 mins and limp the wash! Basically, once I woke up for Suhr, I couldn't sleep proper till I had to wake up for work, which was thankfully an hour later than usual...and then Iftar, which was fucked. My psycho dad always had some shit to say or the other...and I only managed to go out and open the fast with my classmates from college, coz' he considered ALL my friends (and i mean ALL) atheists and sinners. Fucker's inspired by Frailty I guess. Oh well. Thanks dad.


Btw, to all the girlies reading me space...if you DO apply henna this Eid, send me a pic, PLEASE? I have this thing for henna on hands, after the henna's washed away, DOH! It just rocks...I won't add more detail, I'm fasting, and I'd hate to screw my last fast up.


And this Eid, which is tomorrow...well, i'm NOT looking forward to it, coz' every Eid in the past (few years) got fucked...and all I do is wake up EARLY, like, REALLY early, wear whatever fucking costume I've got for Eid, go to the mosque, hug my dad (cough), my bro's, walk home...start messaging...and fall asleep, or play a few games, wait for some moron to pay us a visit, have the same SHIT i've been having for the past 22 years (according to bro's, nothing's changed in the menu), and then eat lotsa fucking chicken, give money to rugrats...and call people up and wish 'em half heartedly. Whee...

 

Eid Mubarak guys...
http://www.hallmark.com/ECardWeb/ECV.jsp?a=2092132053923M139022053Y
<yep, that's yer card>


Disclaimer: Don't use my blog's content against me. If you wanna know something about me, ask me, don't fucking read my blog, and then make assumptions/pass judgement, I fucking hate that. Someone did that to me a few days ago, it fucking hurt.

Yeah, it's been SO long since I last updated my Space, but that's due to multiple reasons. I've also decided not to include too much personal info coz' some people are pathetic enuff to read thru it, make weird arsed assumptions and then judge me. Fuck them. And I have 2 reasons to update my Space...primarily coz' Wildy was sweet enuff to make me blog, by threatening to tie me up and force me to watch a Shahrukh Khan flick (except for Daar (sp) and Baazigar, they rocked) and secondly coz' of the multiple comments on my Space asking WTF I was doing...

Where do I start, where do I begin? (I've used and reused this line a gazillion times coz' it's a song by the Chemical Brothers which plays during the end credits of Vanilla Sky.

I have a list of topics to choose from, and I dunno where to start from...

Available topics worth bitching about:

01-Spice up your blog
02-Lessons learnt
03-Ramadan
04-Forums
05-Hobbies
06-Gaming

And lots more...

So much for a teaser, I'll be updating it proper soon. Hang in there people.

Hugs n' luv.
Ozwoz

An entry I typed on June 3rd, never bothered to publish it...my bad.


A few weeks ago, I was about to leave for work and was still in the kitchen replenishing my supply of water (really getting deep into this corporate save the environment thing), when my dad passed by some Anti Spam rules, in his usual Morpheus loud-assed tone, saying I shouldn't reply to mails from Nigerian assholes just coz' they're offering a 1.5 million $ portion of their fortune, and shouldn't disclose my PIN number to anyone, and I thought, WTF? I studied this shit...I've got a certification, a degree, and a Masters in this shit...and I prevent this shit daily, and have been doing so for the last 3 years...awfully thoughtful of him...more like paranoid.

 

A few days ago, when I went for my blood test...I almost fainted after sitting in the waiting room...finally fig'd out why...it was 12 noon, and the last time I had a sip of water was just before bed, 13 hours ago...my bad. Again.

 

 

I'm SO lonely (the next person to sing or even connect this entry to that cocksucker Akon's song loses a limb) that I blog now coz' I have no one to speak to. Someone once remarked that I like inviting reader's pity by whining about my sad life...well, it's @ least better than someone promising to be there for you when you need their presence, but not actually doing so...but it's okay now. That person jumped ship...

 

Nothing is as it seems. I've never felt lonelier, but for a change, I'm almost welcoming it. It's better to be alone than to be fucked mentally by morons. Take this cunt I knew a while ago for instance. Apparently, we had this agreement on disclosing info publicly, and that we'd refrain from doing so coz' it MAY affect the other person. But the problem with this cunt is that she's SO totally thick skinned, that instead of following the agreement, she's going totally opposite it...and I get to read shit I don't wanna know.


Bottomline: I don't like being provoked, so don't provoke me. Some morons are particularly good @ it. People who think they matter to me. People who think they can force me to care for them. People like my dad, girl, ex...the only thing that's keeping me sane these days is work. And it's rewarding. Every fucking thing I prayed for had a fucking catch behind it tho. I got a good job, but have to drive a fucked up car 100 kms daily...blah blah blah, and the list goes on, and I can't stop bitching about it. I can stand shit in front of me...but what I can't stand are elements slapped  


I should check out the other's Spaces too. It's been a while since I've done that...wonder what Sara, Outspoken, TG, Maddy, Wildy, Cheeky and someone are upto these days...don't have to worry about UB tho...Baji's tied up with work. That reminds me...gotta update me list of friends...I'll have to squeeze someone, Funky and Muby together.


And my dad turned  60 today. I should gift him a strait jacket and an appointment with a shrink. And move out ASAP. It'll save us both the trouble and energy.


I should've been adopted.